Bang Bang (my Baby Shot Me Down)

I made these themed pendants for a Gingerbeer Christmas Party, Secret Santa present. It wasn't easy putting together a present for some grrrl I didn't know and to the agreed budget of £5! So I decided to make something homemade. The pistol is cut from a recycled powdered drink container lid, the "bang"s are bubble jet print laminated behind recycled takeaway container box plastic, the sherrif's star and jumprings are made from offcuts of sterling silver I found in my a bag of lemel from past projects. The plastic cowboy and waxed cotton thong had to be purchased.

I packed it up with a lucky bag selection of girly pick and mix sweeties: peaches, fried eggs, lips, rainbow laces, and a cherry and tied it all with a rainbow ribbon. Yeeha!!

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   Calling all E17 Bread Bakers: (organic) Fresh Yeast    Supply

By sponges and leavens, I have finally sourced a couple of cubes of this Bakers' gold: organic fresh yeast. These little cubes of Rapunzel in their jaunty golden yellow wrappers aren't actually labelled organic as yeast isn't presently on the EU list of organic ingredients. However, the yeast is produced by the German company BioReal using organic ingredients and processes.

A BIG thank you to the lads at Second Nature Wholefoods for going out on a limb and ordering some in for me. Frustratingly, I cannot use enough yeast in my own baking to sustain the quantities (12x42g cubes every 2 weeks) Second Nature needs to shift to make it feasible to order on a regular basis . The wholesale quantity however, is not a totally unrealistic amount if there are three or four other ardent bread bakers in the E17 area who wish to share an order. So, contact Second Nature Wholefoods, 78 Wood St, Walthamstow, London, E17 3HX Tel: 020 8520 7995. Let them know you are interested in purchasing Rapunzel yeast on a regular basis. Perhaps you could email me too so that we could co ordinate a shared order.

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  Biggin' it up in E17 for Organiclea's Scrumping Project.

This year I wasn't able to go to the Apple Day celebrations at the Vestry House but, I was able to purchase a bottle of Organiclea's scrummpy apple juice from their Saturday stall in support of their truly inspirational Scrumping Project

A surprising number of gardens, in E17, have established fruit trees and many of these trees, for one reason or another, are neglected, the crop underutilised or left to rot on the trees. Organiclea offers a scrumping service whereby residents can register their fruit trees and for a part share of the crop an organised group of scrumpers will pick the fruit. This surplus fruit is distributed amongst community groups, at the local Apple Day Festival and is also pressed and bottled, the proceeds of which feed back into funding Organiclea's varied projects. Respek!

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   Organiclea Bread Bake

I have just got back from another inspirational Organiclea bread baking day at the Hornbeam Centre where the ardent bread bakers who attended passionately discussed their national breads for 5 hours nonstop. There was also a kitchen demonstration on how to make Chapatis over the hob and Peta Bread which billowed delightfully, hot out of the oven.

For my contribution I tried out this Brown Soda Bread from Tim Allen's The Ballymaloe Bread Book. The attraction of the recipe was to start a buttermilk plant to produce the buttermilk required and the decorative form of the bread. The buttermilk and soda made the crumb soft, dense and scone-like. My verdict: the wholewheat flour doesn't so much as disguise the taste of the soda (which I think is an acquired taste) as transmute it into something a bit more palatable. However, this may be an aftertaste of the fairies baked inside as I forgot to prick the segments to let them out!

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    Hands Up!

The Voodoo put in a request for arm warmers and since I’d said out aloud, many times, how much I’d enjoyed knitting in the round I couldn’t say "no". So I knitted her these.

I have posted the pattern I devised to knit them as my small contribution to the generous community of knitters out there who, are committed to the free-for-all digital dissemination of their craft and genius. Long may their ideas be woven in hyperlinks, mirrored and archived in the continuum that is the internet.

Materials (to fit UK size8):

• 3 balls Jaeger Matchmaker Merino 4ply, shade 639 (actually 2 and ever such a little bit of the third)


• 1 set 2.5mm double pointed knitting needles

Cast on 78 stitches. Divide the stitches equally on three needles (26 stitches per needle).
Mark first stitch by knotting through a scrap of different coloured yarn. Knit 1, purl 1 for 8"
Next round: *k1, p1, rep from * for 14 stitches, k2tog, p2tog, *k1, pl, rep from * for 36 stitches, ssk, ssk (if you can figure it out, purl these stitches together through the back loops, if not just knit them),*k1, p1, rep from * for 14 stitches
Then knit 1, purl 1 for 1"
Next round: *k1, p1, rep from * for 12 stitches, k2tog, p2tog, *k1, pl, rep from * for 36 stitches, ssk, ssk ,*k1, p1, rep from * for 12 stitches
Then knit 1, purl 1 for 1"
Next round: *k1, p1, rep from * for 12 stitches, k2tog, p2tog, *k1, pl, rep from * for 32 stitches, ssk, ssk ,*k1, p1, rep from * for 12 stitches
Then knit 1, purl 1 for 1"
Next round: *k1, p1, rep from * for 10 stitches, k2tog, p2tog, *k1, pl, rep from * for 32 stitches, ssk, ssk ,*k1, p1, rep from * for 10 stitches
Then knit 1, purl 1 for 1"
Next round: *k1, p1, rep from * for 10 stitches, k2tog, p2tog, *k1, pl, rep from * for 28 stitches, ssk, ssk ,*k1, p1, rep from * for 10 stitches
Then knit 1, purl 1 for 1"
Next round: *k1, p1, rep from * for 8 stitches, k2tog, p2tog, *k1, pl, rep from * for 28 stitches, ssk, ssk ,*k1, p1, rep from * for 8 stitches
Then knit 1, purl 1 for 2"
At this point the ribbed cuff should measure 15” Make sure the stitches are arranged as follows: from start stitch needle1 = 14 stitches; needle2 = 14 stitches; needle3 = 24stiches
Knit 1 round
Then k8, k2tog, k8, k2tog, k8, k24
Knit 1 row
Then k8, k2tog, k6, k2tog, k8, k24
Then knit until stocking stitch fabric measures 1" from ribbed cuff

For Right Hand
To start to shape the thumb, knit round to end of needle2 then increase 1.Continue working in rounds but between the end stitch on needle3 and the start stitch on needle1 increase 1 stitch on the first and last stitch, on alternate rows until there are 16 new stitches between the end and start stitches. Transfer these 16 stitches plus the end and start stitches onto a stitch holder.
Then beginning on needle1 cast on 1(site of thumb opening),knit to end of needle3 and increase 1.
Knit for 1”
Then knit 1, purl 1 for 1" and cast off loosely.
To finish thumb: carefully transfer stitches from stitch holder to needles. Divide the stitches equally on three needles (6 stitches per needle).
Knit to end of needle3 then pick up 4 stiches at site of thumb opening on the palm of the glove ensuring that there are no holes at this point.
Continue in rounds for ¾”
Then knit 1, purl 1 for 1/2" and cast off loosely.

For Left Hand
To start to shape the thumb, knit round to end of needle3 then increase 1.Continue working in rounds but between the end stitch on needle2 and the start stitch on needle3 increase 1 stitch on the first and last stitch, on alternate rows until there are 16 new stitches between the end and start stitches having knitted to the end of needle3. Transfer these 16 stitches plus the end and start stitches onto a stitch holder.
Then beginning on needle1 knit to end of needle2 increase 2 stitches (site of thumb opening), knit to end of needle3.
Knit for 1”
Then knit 1, purl 1 for 1" and cast off loosely.
To finish thumb: carefully transfer stitches from stitch holder to needles. Divide the stitches equally on three needles (6 stitches per needle).
Knit to end of needle3 then pick up 4 stiches at site of thumb opening on the palm of the glove ensuring that there are no holes at this point.
Continue in rounds for ¾”
Then knit 1, purl 1 for 1/2" and cast off loosely.

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    The Original Ministry Of Food

Rosehip syrup, another intrepid Food For Free inspired foray into seasonal sustenance. There is a Dog Rose growing just outside the kitchen door. Though I didn't have to go very far to pick a bowlful of rosehips this does count as foraging as I had to brave icy rain and malicious, vengeful thorns. (Perhaps now I can brave the nettles for that nettle soup?).

I followed the directions published by The Ministry of Food in 1943: Rosehip Syrup recipe

I crushed the rosehips with a pestle and morter and not a little bit of sweat and tears (having shed at least an armful of blood earlier picking the rosehips). Do not be tempted to resorting to using an electrical appliance! By saving effort here you are only going to have to spend even greater effort later digging holes to plant trees to offset the carbon emissions accrued.

Do take the time to strain the syrup several times each time using a fresh piece of butter muslin to get rid of all the tiny, sharp hairs.

Once you've bottled up the syrup, the only thing to do is to make yourself a stack of pancakes.

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   Sloe Gin

On the prompt of my copy of Richard Mabey's book Food For Free the Sloe Gin recipe offered the prospect of a walk.

In our underestimation of the seasonal thirst for Sloe Gin we thought the belt of blackthorns we alone had discovered was virginal. Not on your nelly! It is frequented, and its delights and fruits plundered, by all and sundry; an important observation we have subsequently added in addendum to our folio prunus f**king spinosa, and filed under ‘k’ for f**king know-it-alledgeable local (cue banjo 4-beat strum). And, it being late in the season, most of the bushes were stripped within arm’s reach! Tauntingly, above this level there remained a veritable bird’s banquet.

It had recently rained and a gloomy frost began to set in. As we looked up into the bushes and plucked the odd, overlooked berry we were drenched in an avalanche of icy precipitation which trickled down our necks, coursed the hollows of our backs and puddled in our butt cracks. Our fingers quickly numbed and in our fumbling attempts to reach the berries we scored our knuckles on the thorns. The expedition was fast turning into something like a Tess-of-the-D’urbervillian night-of-the-dead-and-dying-pheasants-in-the-hedgerow (bloody, though admittedly without the moribund fowls).

Then, set back off the path and overgrown by Hawthorn, we spotted a sloe-laden bush that had been passed over as it was not for easy picking. We just about filled a pudding basin before squelching a hasty retreat to the car, each clandestinely entertaining the thought of investing in a crook handled walking stick and flat cap. And, coming back again next year. And, beating the ravaging hordes to it!

A perfunctory web search will bring up a recipe for Sloe Gin. As they are all much of a muchness, I’ll save you the effort:
Recipe:

• 450g/1lb ripe sloes,(even better if they are slightly bletted after the first frost)
• 225g/8oz caster sugar
• 1 litre/1¾ pint gin

Prick the sloes and pour them into a clean screw top bottle. Pour in the sugar and then the gin. Agitate the bottle to mix the sugar with the gin. Agitate once a day for a week and once a week thereafter for a minimum of two months.

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    Bread With Old Dough

The Bread with Old Dough recipe from Andrew Whitley's inspirational book bread matters The state of modern bread and a definitive guide to baking your own has become our standard home fare. Dorian our geriatric house rabbit, who lives in the cupboard under the stairs, cannot contain himself when the house fills first with the yeasty smell of dough proving and then with the smell of baking bread. He runs distracted circuits around our feet until at last he is presented with a piece of just-cooled crust which he seizes upon and carries off underneath the sofa where he can scoff it, every last crumb, unchallenged.

The process entails you keep a fist sized lump of dough back when making a loaf of wholemeal bread. Pop it in an airtight container and keep it in the fridge until you next bake bread. I keep my dough in the door of the fridge so not to freeze the yeast. The longest I've kept the dough is for eight days and I haven't killed anybody yet! Before making a fresh batch of dough remember to take your matured, old dough out of the fridge and allow it to slowly come up to room temperature. Then mix up a fresh batch and knead in the old dough. Before proving, set aside a fist sized lump for the next loaf of bread. For precise, fail-proof instructions refer to Whitley's book.

Why add the old dough? It improves the flavour of the loaf, giving it a slight tang which enlivens the base earthy, nutty flavour of the wholemeal flour. It also improves the crumb, making it less dense.

The perfect slice of wholemeal bread to accompany a soft boiled egg!"Weep"!

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   Use Your Loaf!

Organic, stoneground wholewheat flour (from Shipton Mill), water, salt and yeast. No fat, no flour treatment agent: L-ascorbic acid (E300), no bleach, no reducing agent: L-cysteine hydrochloride, no soya flour, no emulsifiers: Diacetylated tartaric acid esters of mono- and diglycerides of fatty acids, Sodium steoryl-2-lactylate, Glycerol mono-stearate or Lecithins, no preservatives: Calcium propionate or vinegar, no enzymes: Alpha-amylase, Maltogenic amylase, Oxidase, Protease, Peptidase, Lipase, Phospholipase, Hemicellulase, Xylanase, Transglutaminase. No printed plastic packaging to dispose of. Grass roots activism in a simple loaf. A call to Bakers' arms.

I followed the Basic Bread recipe in Andrew Whitley's inspirational book bread matters The state of modern bread and a definitive guide to baking your own. Admittedly as a first-off, the crust is a little overdone and it would have been more satisfying if I'd baked one large loaf, instead of two small, for a better proportion of crumb to crust. But hey I am chuffed and have put aside a lump of the dough to bake Whitley's Bread with Old Dough recipe. I can't wait.

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The Real Bread Campaign

Nothing is closer to our hearts than the salty, saccharin, fizzy, marshmallow soft, rainbow-hued memories of food that map our life experiences when viewed through the skewed kaleidoscopic, synergistic interactions of a cocktail of non-nutritional food additives: preservatives, colourings, flavourings, thickeners, emulsifiers and stabilisers, our generations, X and Y, have been inadvertently ingesting for several decades (not to mention our dose quotidienne of dishwashing liquid and toothpaste residue).

Under parental guidance, we have been brought up inured, our indifference possibly symptomatic of the neurotoxic effects of our formative diets, to off-the-shelf, pre-prepared, convenience ingredients, just-add-water-ready mixes and quick frozen meals. "Can't cook", we enthusiastically relinquish our own skills as means to culinary sufficiency and pride ourselves in exercising our uninformed consumer choice "don't cook!".

Here in the UK there is a current TV advertising campaign announcing that "Blue (Smartie) is back". If like me you immediately rushed out in a fit of nostalgia and bought a box of this crunchy, sugar-coated, chocolate confectionery only to discover that the colour of ALL Smarties is now disappointingly wishy washy (!!!) one is forced to acknowledge the creeping suspicion as to why is it that food industry giants are now removing additives in products aimed at children in a bid, as they claim, to improve their "nutritional quality"? If these additives are non-nutritional then one can extrapolate that the only reason they are doing this is in fact to reduce the toxicity of their products. Is it just possible that those kids who started frothing at the mouth, threw themselves on the floor and gnashed at people's ankles at the mere sight of additive inoculated food were not just simply more badly behaved than we were?

Since it is still considered okay for these additives to be in food aimed at adults, it is time we big kids make our own unadulterated food using ingredients of integrity. No need to to write to your local MP or quit eating altogether in protest, simply baking your own bread is grass roots activism at its most nutritious and delicious. Spend your money judiciously (food manufacturers and retailers, for all they call themselves market leaders, will bend themselves over backwards to meet customer demand) and tuck into some top nosh you made yourself with your own two hands.

I baked the white bread wheat sheaf loaf as part of The Hornbeam Centre's "Rise Up: A celebration of bread" Lammas celebration. As part of the day's events there was a truly inspirational talk by Andrew Whitley, an organic baker, who explained, as a cause of the disingenuous practices employed in the industrial manufacture of bread and the farming of wheat for bread flour production, why he had initiated The Real Bread Campaign. It is not every day that one has the opportunity to experience an eureka moment - I came away from his talk vowing to start eating real bread on a regular basis and to take the time to teach myself how to bake it. Watch this space.

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   Bramble Jam

The best thing about going brambling early in the season is the fact that there is blossom and green, reddening and fully ripe, swollen black berries to be seen growing in juxtaposition – a scratch and sniff Adriaen Coorte still life. 4 Real.

The best thing about brambling is that you don't have to read the label to check whether they are airflown, or organic free range. And there is no packaging!

Here you have it, our bramble walk in Epping Forest preserved in a darling jar of jam to save for a wintry day. The rest of it went down nicely baked in an apple and bramble pie.

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    Queer Socks

I followed the, stoical guidance of Pam Allen’s ‘Knitting for Dummies’ no-frills Basic Socks pattern for my first attempt at knitting in the round. And, true to the pattern, they be socks*. Odd socks of course.

To be frank I am chuffed. What I like about the socks is that they are substantially more 3D and constructed than my earlier scarf projects. Seeing a sock literally grow on the end of your knitting sticks is entrancing. In gas bill terms, since they are as thrifty as boiling a kettle filled with just enough water for the number of cups of tea required, one can never have too many woolly socks for pootling about in. Me thinks I’ll be knitting more.

*For those techie knitters out there I used 4x50g balls Jaeger Extra Fine Merino Chunky, shade 023 - Red Ink and Debbie Bliss merino dk scraps for the heels.

At the same time as I was working on the Basic Socks I ploughed through making this pair in Regia 4ply sock wool that I’d been given by a well-meaning mate as encouragement. I followed the free pattern that came with the wool.I was frustrated by the yarn repeatedly petering out and having to start new lengths, holding the loose ends for a round or so to maintain the tension and prevent holes forming! In truth I was underwhelmed by the colours and combination thereof and the ONLY thing that kept me going to the end was the prospect of learning how to graft the toe.

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    Maison Grenouille et Chez Crapaud

Living near the supposedly longest (but not the largest) daily outdoor market in Europe I am dismayed to see the number of unmarked pallets being collected by the street refuse service along with all the other cardboard and plastic packaging, rotten produce and detritus of the market. Living just a hare's breath from Britain's largest waste incinerator I am even more alarmed by the fact that if this waste stream is not being dumped in landfill it is being incinerated, contributing further to the accumulation of greenhouse gases both in the atmosphere and in my lungs.

It doesn't take a large leap of the imagination to see that REUSE, REUSE, REUSE is the operative solution to this improvidence.

If only the council deployed one of the Bulky Items Collection trucks from their fleet to collect these pallets and distribute them among the 38 allotment sites in the borough or, if goodwill is deemed too expensive, to a depot where a commercial initiative can be run to redistribute the pallets to local haulage / distribution / storage firms.

• Firstly the council would benefit as it wouldn't have to pay for the disposal of the pallets as waste.
• Secondly in comparison to transporting them to waste processing sites, the transportation of the pallets would be minimised as they would be distributed within the borough.
• Thirdly folks on the allotments would find numerous applications for this wood source thereby reducing loss of viable wood and since not many people have access to the means to transport pallets they will be much appreciative of the fact that these heavy, bulky items are delivered to site.

Inspired by the Amphibian Ark Global Campaign and their efforts to redress the amphibian extinction crisis I built this vegetable planter with integral frog shelters for Doris, a friendly neighbour of mine so that she can grow tomatoes in her garden in a spot where she can protect them from voracious slugs. I have published an Instructable of the step-by-step construction of this combination vegetable planter / frog shelter here.

But remember, if you plan to build something similar FOR BOTH THE WELL BEING OF THE FROGS AND YOURSELF YOU ARE COMMITED TO USING ORGANIC METHODS OF GARDENING. THAT MEANS FOR INSTANCE USING ORGANIC COMPOST, NOT USING TOXIC SLUG PELLETS (usually Metaldehyde or methiocarb) OR CHEMICAL PLANT FOOD OR WEED KILLERS . YOU CAN FOR INSTANCE USE A LIQUID SEAWEED PLANT FOOD SO LONG AS YOU DILUTE IT CORRECTLY.

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    Hot Happy Buns

What beauties!
Recipe makes 12 buns:
450g strong plain white flour
25g fresh yeast or 15ml (1 level tablespoonful) dried
5ml caster suger to activate yeast
250ml combined volume of tepid milk and water, mixed
5ml salt
2.5ml each ground mixed spice, cinnamon, nutmeg
50g caster sugar
50g butter, melted
1 egg, beaten
100g currants
80g sultanas
shortcrust pastry

For the glaze:
30ml each milk and water
30ml sugar

To prepare the glaze: Combine all ingredients in a saucepan over a gentle heat until the sugar has dissolved.

To make the buns:
Mix 100g flour with yeast, sugar and warmed liquid; leave until frothy (dry yeast approx 20min, fresh yeast approx 30min).
Sift remaining flour, salt, spices and sugar into a bowl.
Rub the butter into the dry ingredients.
Combine yeast mix, beaten egg, fruit and dry ingredients into a fairly soft, pliable dough.
Knead.
Allow to rise, then knock back and cover and place in the fridge over-night.
Remove from fridge, shape into buns, allow to come to room temperature and to rise.
Decorate with shortcrust pastry.
Bake at 200'C until golden (10-12min.
Glaze and place on cooling rack.

NOW GO AND BAKE!

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    Gong Xi Fa Cai

This New Year glutinous rice, or sticky, cake or Nian Gao was purchased from a market stall holder, at the Section 17 Market, Petaling Jaya, Selangor, Malaysia.

The wrapped cake initially appears quite hard and waxy. But, when cut into slices, thin enough for them to appear translucent, dipped in egg yolk and coated in flour and fried, it transmogrifies into a saccharin-sweet, sticky, gooey substance which the only thing in western cooking that approximates it is a pan-fried jelly baby.

A good Nian Gao is judged by its stickiness, the more gooey the better. During the Lunar New Year celebration it is offered to the Kitchen God to ensure that he doesn’t give a bad report to the Jade Emperor about the householders’ behaviour; as his mouth is stuffed with sticky cake, he is prevented from speaking.

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   Isn't She A Beauty?

I found this whizzy little machine in Vintage Heaven on a last minute pre-Christmas trip to the flower market on Columbia Road, E2. Sadly, in this time of record fuel prices and increased duty and tax on fuel, replacing my recently defunct electric beaters with this vintage Prestige, woman-powered hand whisk probably won’t make a dent in the inexorably fattening profits of the oil and gas giants and subsequent financial windfall for the Treasury.

At least I will feel a little better, within the paradigm of a belated New Year’s resolution, that I am doing my collective bit which is more than the government's inept fuel and tax policies are doing for the environment (or the pensioners, least we forget them).

There is nothing left to be said but to whip up a lemon meringue pie, now that’s true ‘Labour’ in the old sense of the word.

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