Fake-Faux: the word is "inured"

   Sloe Gin

On the prompt of my copy of Richard Mabey's book Food For Free the Sloe Gin recipe offered the prospect of a walk.

In our underestimation of the seasonal thirst for Sloe Gin we thought the belt of blackthorns we alone had discovered was virginal. Not on your nelly! It is frequented, and its delights and fruits plundered, by all and sundry; an important observation we have subsequently added in addendum to our folio prunus f**king spinosa, and filed under ‘k’ for f**king know-it-alledgeable local (cue banjo 4-beat strum). And, it being late in the season, most of the bushes were stripped within arm’s reach! Tauntingly, above this level there remained a veritable bird’s banquet.

It had recently rained and a gloomy frost began to set in. As we looked up into the bushes and plucked the odd, overlooked berry we were drenched in an avalanche of icy precipitation which trickled down our necks, coursed the hollows of our backs and puddled in our butt cracks. Our fingers quickly numbed and in our fumbling attempts to reach the berries we scored our knuckles on the thorns. The expedition was fast turning into something like a Tess-of-the-D’urbervillian night-of-the-dead-and-dying-pheasants-in-the-hedgerow (bloody, though admittedly without the moribund fowls).

Then, set back off the path and overgrown by Hawthorn, we spotted a sloe-laden bush that had been passed over as it was not for easy picking. We just about filled a pudding basin before squelching a hasty retreat to the car, each clandestinely entertaining the thought of investing in a crook handled walking stick and flat cap. And, coming back again next year. And, beating the ravaging hordes to it!

A perfunctory web search will bring up a recipe for Sloe Gin. As they are all much of a muchness, I’ll save you the effort:
Recipe:

• 450g/1lb ripe sloes,(even better if they are slightly bletted after the first frost)
• 225g/8oz caster sugar
• 1 litre/1¾ pint gin

Prick the sloes and pour them into a clean screw top bottle. Pour in the sugar and then the gin. Agitate the bottle to mix the sugar with the gin. Agitate once a day for a week and once a week thereafter for a minimum of two months.

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